shatteredlenses | LifeAfter Inbox

[ If he's picked up anything from his time up in space, it's how to read people even better. He catches the way Ignis moves slower, the tired way he smiles, and he knows it's because of what they'd all been through just days ago. It pulls at his heart, squeezing, and Noctis wishes he could reach inside and scoop out all the hurt, take it from Ignis and scatter it to the winds.

... But this will have to be enough. ]

Yeah, I'm always hungry. Do you want any help? I've gotten pretty good in the kitchen over the past year.

[A slim eyebrow arches up over Ignis' sunglasses.]

Trying to put me out of a job, are you? Well, I suppose that is better than when you used to burn water.

[His hands stop their work for a moment as he considers Noctis' offer and then he shakes his head.]

I'm still learning to do this all again. I believe it for the best if there is only only one pair of hands in the cooking area. I would never forgive myself were I to cause you harm. However, as my current taste tester isn't around, I do seem to have an opening for one. Lucky for you, the only qualification is that said person is hungry.

Hey, could've been worse. At least I never tried to boil frozen pizza.

[ Sorry, Captain Yurika.

Noctis listens to Ignis, and he falls quiet. It's been... difficult, to say the least, to not blame himself for Ignis's eyes. He knows Ignis would do it, again and again, in less than a heartbeat, and that's what kills Noctis the most. ]

Hah, either way, I'll be taking someone's job from the sounds of it. Until food's ready, I can keep you company.

Pardon? Did I just hear you say 'boil a frozen pizza?'

[Ignis isn't exactly fond of the things, but they occasionally serve a purpose--a purpose that doesn't have anything to do with boiling.

He is torn between wanting to know the story for sheer horror factor and realizing sometimes the horrors really should be left unknown. In the end, he decides to leave it to Noctis if he wants to tell the story as it's most certainly tied to his time in that other world and Ignis has no idea how many bad memories may be drug up by telling the whole story.]

You're always welcome to keep me company. No matter what happens, that will never change.

I sure did. Yurika decided it was a good idea, but, uh... It definitely wasn't.

[ He chuckles lightly. It wasn't all bad, truly, but he's here for a different reason. He regards Ignis with a look his advisor can't see, and it's thoughtful. A little unsure. ]

I actually had a reason for wanting to talk to you. Might get a little heavy, so if you don't want to tell me anything at any time, just let me know.

Well, that certainly sounds ominous.

[Though his voice is slightly amused, as Ignis speaks, something tightens in his chest. There are a million 'heavy' things Noctis could want to talk to him about, and that fact makes Ignis sad on top of being worried. He doesn't like how many secrets hang in the air between them now.

Carefully, he pulls the pan from the fire and covers it with a makeshift lid. This batch actually seems promising and he doesn't want it to burn when he is inevitably distracted from cooking by their topic of discussion.]

All right, Noct. What is it you want to know?

[ Two things, actually, stand out in particular. Noct's quiet for a little while longer before he looks at Ignis. Maybe he can hear the soft exhale from Noct's direction. ]

What's going on between you and Ardyn?

[Ignis swallows hard as the tightness in his chest suddenly becomes a stabbing pain. Obviously, he knew this was going to come up at some point. He just wasn't expecting that point to be so soon.

He bows his head slightly, hands folding together and settling in his lap so he keeps them still.]

That seems a strange question coming from you. Did he tell you there was something between us?

[The question is evasive and he hates that it is, but he's trying to regain at least a little footing here and the politician in him will allow no less, even when speaking with Noctis.]

You could say that, yeah.

[ His own reply is hesitant, cautious. ]

In that one place--the one that felt like a dream, he told me something along the lines of "someone admitting to falling for their sworn liege's immortal enemy." I assumed he was talking about you.

I wanted to talk to you about it, since I trust you way more than him. And I know you more than well enough, Ignis, to know that there's a story behind this that Ardyn would never tell me.

[Immediately, the strategist in Ignis sees the out here. There are so many ways he can spin the 'truth' and it willl be his side of the tale that Noctis believes. It would just mean using the skills he spent his whole life learning against the king he was meant to use them to protect.

His hands tighten their grip on each other as he thinks, not about if he will or won't lie, but about how to tell the truth. Honestly, despite the momentary thought, he would never lie to Noctis, never twist the truth to make himself look better. That's a line he cannot cross.

Eventually, he takes a deep breath, straightening his posture as if he is preparing himself to face a lecture, or at least, a great deal of pain.]

There is a nine month long story that Ardyn will never tell you. One that starts with a man desperate to find a way to save his childhood friend's life and ends with that same man finding the remains of a lost healer and foolishly giving part of his heart to him.

[ It's a short answer, not as long as it possibly should be... but it tells Noctis enough. He's quiet, thinking about his and Ardyn's time with the Network. He remembers watching Ardyn's season, watching him go from kind, noble healer to the Accursed, and not sure how to deal with it. He remembers being so unsure of Ardyn... and then being sure that Ardyn, even if he'd done terrible things, and had never expected forgiveness, wanted to be...

better.

And Noctis finds himself missing the Ardyn he'd spent close to a year with. ]

I believe you. [ He does, truly, not just because he knows Ignis would not lie to him. He closes the distance and sets a hand on his friend's shoulder. He squeezes lightly, and Noctis remembers their reunion, how he'd done the same in the darkness of Eos. ] Because I saw it myself. I saw the person Ardyn used to be, before he was burned and buried under the very thing he healed from so many people.

My next question is about how you saw that part of him, though.

[As much as he tries to hold it back, a shuddered breath slips from Ignis mouth when he hears Noctis' reply. He leans into that touch, shutting his right eye for several moments as he lets the bone deep relief run though him. Deep down, there was part of him that was certain Noctis would lash out at him. That this would be the thing to drive them apart for good.]

I'm not the only one...

[He doesn't mean to say it out loud, but his relief sees that it happens anyway. It feels like so much weight has lifted from Ignis' shoulders. He's not the only one that knows for certain now. He's not carrying this alone anymore.

It shouldn't feel as good as it does, he knows this, but for right now, he doesn't let himself care.]

I caught a glimpse during one of the early story telling sessions. ...Scientia vincere tenebras. is what he said as if it were some kind of prayer he didn't want anyone else to hear. We clashed a lot in those early days simply because of who we are and the fact I felt someone had to keep an eye on him even with the truce in place. He claimed it merely a taunt later, of course, but then he saved my life and I knew there was more to it than that.

[ It's the tiny, shuddered exhale of breath that really gets him. Noctis pulls Ignis into his arms, and he holds him. He focuses on breathing, in the hopes that Ignis will match, to keep him calm in case he breaks. ]

He saved your life?

[ He doesn't pull away, but he sounds so surprised. ]

Even with the scourge, he saved you. That's... something else.

[ Hints of the kind and noble king, pushing to the surface. ]

He's saved my life twice, in fact. The first time at the cost of his own, though he will claim it only a misjudgment on his part.

[Ignis relaxes into the embrace, his breathing easily matching Noctis' after just a few inhales and exhales. There's no breaking this time. He's done that enough in his king's presence to last a lifetime now.]

The second time is when I really saw the Healer-King for the first time. The island of Monsun was ruled over by a deity of balance. One side of the island pulled out our worst traits and the other side pulled out our best. We made a camp on that second side and he spent most of his time there preferring to die than leave and allow the Chancellor to return.

[They'd forced him eventually, and Ignis will not easily forget the day he had sat with the Healer-King and they had said goodbye not knowing if they would ever see each other again.]

Since then, he has also safeguarded me twice. Once, I'm not even sure he was conscious of. He just placed himself between me and danger without even giving me a chance to object.

... Sounds about right.

[ Noctis keeps on holding Ignis, because Ignis has always been there--he's always been steady, a rock anchoring Noctis to the world. He can do that for Ignis, now. It's the very least he could do. ]

For someone so old, he can be a real idiot sometimes. Doesn't even realize when he's doing something good, because that's who he was before he became the Accursed. It's like that part of himself keeps clawing its way to the surface, even if he refuses to acknowledge it.

[ Noctis lets out a quiet huff, equal parts exasperated and... well. Affectionate. ]

What was the second time?

[Ignis can't help but chuckle at that.]

He is the oldest fool I know.

[There is both exasperation and deep fondness in that statement as Ignis slowly starts feeling more comfortable showing his true feelings for Ardyn. He takes a deep breath and then gently pulls away from Noctis, giving his friend's shoulder a squeeze in thanks as he goes.]

As I hinted at with Monsun, islands sometimes come and go here. One that appeared was called Ai'tuoh. It had a great deal of very strict and almost nonsensical laws. Those who broke those laws either on purpose or accidentally were to be 'Cleansed in the Standing Water.'

[The way he says that makes it very clear that this was not a good thing.]

Before we knew it, a very large number of our fellows were captive. We eventually organized a rescue, but it happened at the same time the cleansing did and anyone who fell into the Water became one more who had to be rescued...if there was time. There were only a few left to fight off the militia, he and I primarily, and I was fighting with my back to the water, moving quickly in an unfamiliar area. It's only because of him that I didn't end up in the Water as well.

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