shatteredlenses | LifeAfter Inbox

"Ig..." Soft and thick with tears but more sure than anything else has been in this whole conversation.

"I'm pretty sure holding you has been the only thing I've wanted for myself since I was 14." There's a soft, self deprecating laugh in there but more than anything his voice is full of a longing he hasn't allowed himself to express for most of his life.

"I wanted to believe it was enough, that duty was all we needed. I couldn't... I couldn't be so close to you and not be able to touch you. I thought, after all this time. Back here I could just ignore it again but I couldn't. That's why it's all a mess. I'm sorry, Iggy." Crying harder now, his voice failing him for a moment, not quite a sob but something close to it.

"I'm sorry."

Fourteen. Astrals, how much time they've wasted! Ignis knew it was a lot, but...and even more then for Gladio because of those 10 long years between when he is from and when the Shield is from.

Ignis unwraps his arm from his waist to bat the tears away from his own eyes even as Gladio can do no more than let his fall, "Shh... Please. Stop saying you're sorry. You're only human, and just as flawed as I am. We have to stop trying to be so perfect all the time before it destroys us."

Of course, he knows that's easier said than done. Perhaps that is why he pulls himself to his feet, tucks the letter and the shell into his pocket and then sends Rory back off to the cottage with a soft command. The firebird seems a little reluctant, but he's been training her since the incident with Gladio and the shower. She's less hair trigger now, though she still makes it clear, before she flies back to the cottage, that she doesn't really wish to leave her human alone when he's so upset.

Well, he's not going to be alone for long. Ignis just doesn't have anyway to tell her that.

Though it really doesn't take long to make it to the shack Gladio's been holing himself up in, the time that passes still seems too long. Ignis barely bothers to knock before sliding inside, ending their call by dropping the stone into his pocket and following the sound of Gladio's sniffling and unsteady breathing to him. Long legs fold underneath him and then he's holding his arms out.

"I'm here."

How does he explain that while Ignis was learning how to hide his emotions Gladio was training for that exact eventuality. Being so perfect -perfect, not hardly- and eventually being destroyed by it was kind of exactly what he was bred for. He sighs softly, not realizing yet that Ignis is even moving.

"I don't think I was meant to survive long enough for it to destroy me, Igs." Sure he's younger than his dad was when he died but they were relatively safe for a long time. And... really he's not that much younger. What 15, 20 years? Gods what did that say about him that he didn't remember how old his father had been.

But then he's sitting up abruptly because the door to the shack is open and Ignis is there? Here? With him and-

"Iggy..." A soft breath and then he's dropping to his knees in front of the bed, taking one hand, gently at first as though he can't quite believe this is really happening. Then his fingers tighten around Ignis' wrist and he all but yanks him forward, spilling back over his heels to lean against the bed and dragging Ignis forward on top of him. It hurts, the sudden weight of the other man on him when he's still so wounded, but it doesn't matter. None of it matters because Ignis is here with him and more than that he wants to be with him when he'd been so certain he'd never want to see him again.

Arms wrap tight around him and Gladio buries his face against his neck, a sharp sob of relief escaping the Shield. This was all he wanted, this moment. All he's ever wanted.

The part of Ignis' mind that is always multitasking makes a note of that self-deprecating statement. They are going to need to talk about it and the way hearing Gladio being so resigned to death just tears his heart out. Not that he can blame the Shield for the way he was raised--the way they both were really, Ignis just to a lesser degree--but that doesn't mean he is going to let that way of thinking continue. Not when he's found life so much brighter now that he's been able to break himself free of some of the worst parts of their childhood training.

That is a discussion for another day, though, as it and all thoughts of the many things they need to still need to talk about today, fly out of Ignis' mind the moment Gladio yanks him into his arms. A warning to be careful of his wound rises in Ignis' throat, but it never makes it to his mouth. How can he say anything in the face of that relieved sounding sob?

Astrals, is it really even possible for him to heal such a deep pain? One that made Gladio so certain that Ignis would want nothing to do with him once he learned his true feelings? Well, perhaps all his practice trying to do the impossible with Ardyn will benefit he and Gladio in ways he never imagined it could.

A soft, comforting hum slides from his lips as he frees his arms so he can wind both hands into Gladio's hair. Carefully, he starts to rock them, giving the Shield all the time he needs to accept and calm down.

It doesn't really take all that long for him to collect himself. He sniffles and the shoulder of Ignis' shirt is damp and hot from tears he can't quite stop but he isn't as much of a wreck as he expected to be. How can he be when he has Ignis in his arms and those beautiful hands in his hair.

He actually chuckles a little, letting one hand move away from Ignis' back and up to tug the tie from his hair, letting the ponytail down to frame his face, yet more hair for Ignis to thread his fingers through. Gladio presses his face into Iggy's shoulder, sways with him for a few breaths, tips his head up to bump against the other man's jaw like some sort of giant cat looking for pettings.

"I was so sure I was gonna lose you." Soft and so afraid. A slight shift like he might kiss Ignis' cheek, breath warm on his skin before he turns back to his shoulder and presses his face in again. He doesn't want to push too much, go too far. He'll take only what Ignis offers and he will be perfectly content with that. More than content. Elated.

A contented warmth floods through Ignis as he hears that chuckle and feels the hair that falls down over his hands. He runs the strands through his fingers wishing he had thought to remove his gloves so he could feel the slide against bare skin, but he can't bear to pull his hands free right then, so the gloves remain, even as the amusing thought that both of their hair could really use some TLC crosses his mind. Right, that's not going to happen anytime soon. They are both too frugal to use favors on such silly things as hair care products.

For some reason, though, that doesn't stop Ignis from spending a moment imagining how silky Gladio's hair would feel running through his fingers if they did.

"I know. It appears I'm a lot more stubborn than anyone gives me credit for," Ignis smiles softly and then reluctantly removes his hands from Gladio's hair so that he can use them to coax the Shield's head away from his shoulder. His thumbs stroke gently over Gladio's cheeks before he leans in to press a gentle kiss to his lips, pulling back only slightly so he can whisper, "Don't hide from me."

Gladio has been using coconut oil in his hair to keep it conditioned and smooth, especially with how harsh the blended sea water was on it. If he didn't he'd never be able keep it untangled. Ignis might be surprised by how easily his fingers move through his hair. There's actually the scapula of one of his kills in here drying out so he can carve a comb from it.

He doesn't resist in the slightest when Ignis moves to draw his head up, lets his friend guide him wherever he wants. A soft hum of contentment at the touch and then Ignis kisses him and a soft sound catches in his throat, something caught between a whimper and a laugh. All his breath escapes and he blinks slowly at the other man, too close, too hard to focus, and he just lets his eyes slip closed again.

"I won't." A soft assurance, even if it might take some time for him to remember that all the time. "I-" Hesitant for a moment and then he huffs a soft laugh against Ignis' lips, brings his own hand up to cup his jaw and carefully, uncertainly, presses in for another kiss.

Coconut oil? Isn't that just for cooking? Gladio may want to enlighten Ignis to its other uses sometime, just not right at this time. Right now, all he wants to do is drown in the kiss and be proud of the fact that Gladio was brave enough to kiss him even if he was unsure. Ignis' hands fall away from the Shield's face and hair, so he can spread them over the man's chest and eventually let them settle linked against his back.

Breaking the kiss has to come whether he wants it to or not, and so soon Ignis does, pulling away with a content sigh and a smile, "Hey there. Feeling better or do we need to do that again just to make sure?"

Shortly, it will strike Ignis he should make sure his weight against Gladio isn't aggravating his wound, but for now such logical concerns hold very little interest for him.

He's not in the most comfortable position but it doesn't matter. Nothing matters but Ignis' weight against him, the taste of him still on his lips, that soft tease when they part. He laughs, strained and choked with tears of relief, presses his forehead to Ignis' and just basks in this moment, this seemingly impossible moment.

"I love you." His words are thick and rough and punctuated with a brush of lips against his cheek. But once he allows himself to voice it. Say what's been in his heart, desperate to be expressed for so, so long. He can't stop saying it. Repeating the words like a prayer.

No more "be better" just this, soft kisses over his cheeks, his brow, his lips and nose and jaw, everywhere, each with another "I love you."

Ignis intends to allow the soft kisses and 'I love yous' to continue as long as Gladio needs to get it get out of his system--he's got almost 10 years to make up for, after all--but one thing proves to be his undoing...

That blasted scruff!

After a while, it starts tickling and he can't quite hold back the giggles that start rising in his throat, "Enough, Gladio, enough! That tickles! If you don't stop, I'm liable to topple us over laughing and that will be no good for your wound."

It's not just a laugh but giggles, something carefree and unburdened and it makes Gladio laugh as well, soft and amused, rolling in his chest. He shifts his focus from kisses to rubbing his jaw against Ignis, grinning and intentionally letting his beard scrape over delicate skin. It tickles, Ignis is right that if they fall over it's going to hurt.

None of that means a damned thing when he can make Ignis laugh like that, though.

Ignis makes the most undignified sound--which he will never admit to later--when Gladio changes tactics, doing his best to curl into the man's chest so he can protect his face and neck from the assault. It will also, hopefully anyway, keep them from toppling over should Gladio continue despite it all.

"Blast it, Gladiolus, stop! I will be most cross with you if you reopen your wound after all this!"

Thank you very much, he's had enough of your blood on his hands to last him a lifetime at this point.

He lets Ignis curl into him, lets him hide, but he does laugh, loud and rich and deep. He laughs hard enough that it makes his belly hurt and he ends up pressing a hand to his side as he tries to stop but he can't because if he stops laughing he'll start crying again.

Slowly the laughter subsides and he's all but crushing Ignis against his chest, breathing unsteadily from both pain and emotion.

One last breathless, desperate, "I love you."

It's easy for Ignis to give into staying curled into Gladio's chest for a while, just listening to his laughter and hiding away from all the troubles that wait for them just outside this embrace, but eventually he does uncurl himself, sitting up straight and cradling Gladio's face in his hands.

"I know and I love you. I'm so sorry you had to wait this long to say it," he leans forward to press a gentle kiss to the Shield's lips and then settles back again. "Now, be honest with me please. Are you hurting? Will you let me heal you?"

He still can't heal the wound completely, but his power should at least take away the sting of straining it.

Gladio almost takes that light kiss and presses into it, chases after more like he's certain Ignis will come to his senses any moment now. But he breathes out, slow and grounding, smiles softly with a little exhale that accompanies the twitch of lips, wry and familiar.

"Okay... okay but... come up here with me first, yeah? Then you can heal me up a bit." He leans back, patting the bed behind him, nudging Ignis away just enough that they can get up off the ground.

He doesn't lay out on the bed though, he sits with his back against the corner where the bed frame is tucked in against the wall, one leg raised, the other hanging off the bed to give Iggy access to the wound... and plenty of room to come curl up in his lap a little more comfortably.

"All right," Ignis is hardly going to argue with a suggestion like that, especially since he's sure Gladio will be much more comfortable on the bed than on the floor. He waits patiently for the Shield to settle and then carefully crawls onto the bed himself, hands feeling in front of him so he can figure out how Gladio's positioned himself. Once he does, a small, slightly sly smile crosses his face.

"It seems you've prepared a special seat just for me. I'm honored."

Surely, Gladio is just imagining how Ignis' fingers linger as they brush against his legs. Nothing going on here!

Gladio smirks at the words but the lingering touches make his breath catch in his chest, still so strange after so long of dreaming it. He catches one of Iggy's hands, draws it up to press a kiss to his fingertips, like he had at the storytelling fire.

"You should be." Honored that is. How many people would he let sit in his lap?

Okay, honestly, he'd be cool with sleeping cuddled up with quite a few people but this was different. This was Ignis, this was a dream come true.

Ignis chuckles as he carefully settles into his appointed seat, reluctantly pulling free the hand that Gladio has taken so he can remove both his gloves and tuck them away. Oh, he doesn't need to do that in order to heal, but he regretted not removing them before. He isn't going to make the same mistake now.

While he has a pretty good idea of where the wound is, he takes his time letting his hands get there. There is a fair bit of territory to explore between Gladio's shoulders and his waist and unless he's told otherwise, Ignis is planning on taking the long way to get from point A to point B.

"How badly is the wound hurting you?"

The slow path his hands are taking gives Ignis ample opportunity to feel the way Gladio's heart races the longer his hands are on him, his breath catching and shivering out. He has to swallow thickly before he trusts himself to speak.

"Aches mostly, only stings a bit. Stood up too fast, I think but it didn't split." Just a consistent throbbing pain in his belly. It's all good.

Honestly he's hardly thinking of it now, not with Ignis in his lap and touching him like that. Not with the other's taste on his lips.

Ignis hums softly at the answer. If he was a crueler man, he would point out the pounding of Gladio's heart as a sign that the wound is hurting him more than he's admitting too, but he knows well the real cause and can't help but feel a little proud to be it.

Well, if Gladio is distracted, that means he will hurt less. It all works out.

Eventually, his fingers find the wound and rest over it lightly. Ignis pulls the magic into himself and then lets it out to do its work. At the same time, he leans forward to begin pressing a line of kisses along Gladio's collarbone.

The Shield's not the only one getting something out of this particular kind of distraction. Ignis is enjoying himself as well.

Ignis' clever fingers have been a source of distraction for years, long before Gladio had fully admitted the depths of his feelings for his friend. Now, feeling them skating over his body, light and exploratory, is enough to have him completely forget about any discomfort that his recent movements might have caused. There's that flicker of of magic and he starts to sigh, soft and relieved.

But the sound catches in his throat when Ignis' lips find his collarbone. His hands come up to catch at Ignis' shoulders, not discouraging, just holding onto him for a moment.

"I-Ig..." A gasp and then he's tangling his fingers into Ignis' hair, hauling him up for another kiss, this time a little less cautious, intense and hungry but no less emotional for it.

The soft sigh and the gasp of his name cause a shiver to run through Ignis. For just a moment before Ignis is pulled away, Gladio will be able to feel the advisor's lips curl into a smile against his skin. He makes a soft startled sound when he's pulled up, but he can't say that the kiss that follows is any kind of disappointing.

Ignis' hands flatten against Gladio's chest as he presses into the kiss, returning it with every bit of intensity and emotion. When he finally has to pull back to catch his breath, he nibbles lightly at the Shield's lower lip as he goes.

"Feeling better or do we need to reapply this particular treatment once more?"

"I'm fine." The assurance is a little too quick and he sighs, leaning up to catch one more soft kiss, to ease the insistence there.

"I don't want you over taxing yourself again." He nudges Ignis a little, trying to coax him into sitting down, leaning back against him again. "And I am fine, like I said. A little ache but it's better. A lot better. Promise."

Don't do too much and make him carry you to the mana pool, Igs.

Ignis huffs and if Gladio listens close enough, he will hear him mutter something that sounds suspiciously like 'I'm not made of bloody glass,' but as disgruntled as he might be, he doesn't fight the change in position, eventually settling into Gladio's hold.

"You'll tell me if you need me to move?" He just has to mother hen little more before he lets it go. Please, humor him.

"Know you're not ba-" The pet name catches in his throat, uncertain, and he nuzzles into Iggy's hair. It's not that he thinks Iggy can't handle it, not at all, there's just no need. He knows the limitations of his regroup and it's not meant to handle something so severe.

"Long as we both go this way a little..." And he coaxes Ignis to lean a little into the wall so his weight was distributed between the wall and Gladio's upper chest. Nothing on his belly. It's fine, Ignis. Not babe. Not yet.... but maybe soon?

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