shatteredlenses | LifeAfter Inbox

I know... I know you feel that way. It's why I made the promise I did, but you have to forgive me if I try to find other solutions.

[His hands lower slightly so that his thumbs can gently rub over Ardyn's cheeks.]

Forgive me. Please. I have to try.

No--I'm the one that needs to apologize. I'll not be able to protect you any longer, so please stay out of trouble. I-...people need you around here.

[His voice dropped to something shaky and quiet, a light hand brushing Ignis' hair from his face.]

And if you'll not accept farewell, then at least allow me to say goodbye, whether temporary or permanent.

[Ardyn closed the short distance between them for no more than a half-second, brushing the briefest and feather-light kiss against Ignis' lips before pulling back.]

...I'm sorry. I don't ask your forgiveness--I don't deserve it after all I've done. But please--no matter what happens, no matter how insistent you are upon this point...don't let me hurt you again.

Ardyn...

[His name comes out like a whisper, the rest of the words Ignis want to follow it getting lost somewhere on the path to his mouth. All he can think of for a long few seconds is that kiss, so soft and light, a breeze here and then gone and lost to the ages.]

It's all right for you to need something. Just as it's all right for me to need something.

[The kiss that follows is more solid that the one that Ardyn brushed across his lips. Something meant to be remembered wherever he goes once Monsun is gone.]

You don't need to ask me for forgiveness. You've done nothing wrong. When the time comes, I will settle things with him. And then I will find you again.

[The touch set a faint shudder through his body--just the physical contact with a real living, warm human was enough to send a shock like the current of a Thunder spell through an undead, unliving form. Ardyn leaned into it, gloved hand resting against Ignis' jawline in silent encouragement. When they broke apart, a hesitant and tired laugh echoed quiet in the back of his throat.]

I've done everything wrong, my magnificent little flame. There's no separating the two of us now. My spite is the fuel for his vengeance, and his fury is my own. Don't forgive me. Don't fail to hold me accountable for the people I've hurt and the world I've left in ruin.

And don't let me do anything else to you. This heart couldn't take that, even if I'll not care once this is over.

I...

[Ignis almost promises. Right now, it would be too easy to promise anything if it would bring peace to Ardyn's troubled heart, but despite all the training he's had in twisting words to suit his needs, there are some promises he can't make and some lies he can't tell.]

Ask me for anything. Anything but that. You know how I am. I can't--I won't--make a promise I can't keep.

I know. But I can't let you chase after a memory when you only risk hurting yourself in the process. That's the last thing I would ever wish after you've been so kind to me.

[Ignis lowers his gaze, shaking his head.]

Chasing memories. Sometimes that's all we have. If we let those go, then what is there left? If I forget the sight of the dawn, then I will never see it again. If I forget Prompto's smile, then I will never again remember how it brightens his face. If I forget Noct's eyes then...

[He pauses a moment, biting at his lower lip.]

All I have are memories. I can't let them run from me.

This is a memory best left forgotten. For your sake and for the king you've sworn to, rather than the one history left behind. You can scarcely serve the Chosen King at all if you're risking your life for my sake instead--especially knowing I'm to be his worst enemy.

No!

[The answer is sudden and determined. He shakes his head once more as if to clear away that burst of emotion so that he can continue more calmly.]

No. You speak as if fate doesn't tie the two of you as closely as it ties me to him. I haven't given up on changing things. Merely switched my focus. If I cannot change things through Noctis, then who is to say the path to change does not lay through his 'enemy' instead.

I can't help you. No matter how I wish to, there is nothing in my power that will aid you in this. I don't-...understand why you-...why you can't just-...

[Ardyn's voice cracked and broke off, lowering his head to rest against Ignis's shoulder.]

...you can't save me. I can't change that which fate has written for me, but Noctis might yet see some kind of chance somehow.

[All Ignis' words fail him in the face of such raw emotion, such sadness. How often have they argued this circle? Different words, same destinations. One has given up; the other will not. They have so little time left, he doesn't want to waste more of it with useless arguing.

Ignis leans his head against Ardyn's even as his arms tighten around the broken healer.]

If I can't save him--if I can't save you--then I will spend the rest of my life making sure the Astrals rue the moment they turned their back on you and set us all upon this path.

...oh, that must be the kindest thing anyone's said to me in a long time.

[Ardyn tried to laugh, but it sounded shaky and pained. The way he was clinging to Ignis like his single last lifeline didn't exactly help any attempts to brush things off, either.]

You're truly a magnificent spectacle, my darling. The gods themselves would shudder just to hear your approach.

[Ignis smiles sadly into Ardyn's hair, feeling tears gather at the corners of his useless eyes.]

You think too highly of me.

[There is a pause as Ignis tries to still his shaking voice. Oh, how quickly certainty has fled from him.]

I've...just never known when to let go.

Stubbornness is no terrible trait in and of itself. You need only apply it to a cause that will gain results, and not an impossible one.

[Ignis shakes his head.]

There is no such thing as an impossible task. Only those given up on before they are accomplished.

[His grip tightens on Ardyn.]

Lets not speak of this more. We aren't going to change each other's minds and there is so little time left.

[He answered with a slight nod against Ignis' shoulder, not raising his head.]

...will you let me stay a little longer? I care not what you would talk about instead, I just...wish for this to carry on for a bit more time yet.

Were it within my power, I would let you stay here with me forever.

[But it's not. Nothing he can do will keep Monsun from vanishing and taking this man with it. At least, until Ignis is able to find a way to force the Chancellor to allow him to the surface.]

I could fill your ears with so many embarrassing stories from Noctis' childhood, but I won't. I don't want anyone else here with us now even if just in thought.

[It is, perhaps, the first time he's ever not wanted Noctis somewhere near him, and Ignis really isn't sure what to make of that. It's so selfish of him, and logically he knows he should feel guilty for that.

He doesn't.]

[A actual laugh found its way from Ardyn's throat at that, sincere but exhausted.]

I will simply have to use my imagination on that front, then. Amusing as it sounds, I think I too would rather simply...keep things this way for a moment longer.

For several moments, if you will. There is nowhere we need to be and nothing pressing we need to do. Let the world go on without us for a while. You sound exhausted and I have plenty of experience being a royal pillow.

I'm always exhausted, Ignis. I don't sleep, remember?

[Ignis clicks his tongue against his teeth is a softly scolding manner.]

Of course I remember. It's you who seems to forget there are more kinds of exhaustion than just the physical. You can still close your eyes and allow your mind to lose itself in the warmth and caring surrounding you, can you not?

...I don't know. I haven't had the opportunity to try.

Fortunately, it's never too late to try. It'll be a moment of peace for you to take with you when...

[Ignis' voice suddenly cracks and he swallows hard in an effort to steady it again.]

...you go.

...there now, you're not crying for someone like me, are you? Please don't--even should this be the end, take solace in knowing it's a far better note to leave upon than the last time.

It's not...

[His voice trails off and he shakes his head. It's not the tears that wet his eyes that are bothering him, but the fact he can't make his voice sound as certain as he wants it to be.]

It's not the end. I just...don't know how long it will take to change things.

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scourgingstars - 2018-03-14 02:04 (UTC) - Expand